Why The Hell Am I Here?
by MoowitMi324
Summary: Benny's thoughts during Angels Funeral. Oneshot.


A/N: I was watching Rent Friday night and when Angel's funeral came on, I couldn't stop looking at Benny. Not because he's extremely hot, but because I was wondering what he was thinking the whole time he was there. Enjoy!

Benny's POV

Mimi and I entered the church silently. I took a seat in the second row and Mimi walked up to Angel's casket where Collins was. Why the hell am I here? I didn't know Angel. Hell, I wasn't even friends with these people.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

I looked up and saw Maureen's eyes filled with fire.

"I'm here with Mimi." I answered calmly.

She gave me a smirk. Before she could say anything Mark motioned for her to sit down.

"Hi, Benny." Mark said softly.

"Hey." I greeted standing up.

We shook hands and stood there quietly.

"Are you two going back out?" I asked.

"No." Mark said looking at her.

I looked at her too and realized she wasn't dressed like a slut.

"I better go." Mark said looking over my shoulder.

I turned around and saw Roger dragging his feet down the ale. I felt so sorry for him, but at the same time was pissed off…. How can he abandon someone he loves so much? I just don't understand….. Why the hell am I here? Why do I keep asking myself this question?

The funeral started and Mimi was the first to talk. I never knew how close she and Angel were. It was like they were…..um…I guess sisters. I don't know much about cross dressers. Mark spoke and said more amazing things about Angel.

And this was the person who killed my dog? Wow!

When Maureen spoke I was shocked. I hade never seen her so mature and grown up. The more good things I heard about Angel, the more I feel in love with he or she. I snapped out of my thoughts when it was Collins turn, he sung a song that moved us all and I felt a tear run down my cheek. He loved Angel to death. I had never seen someone show so much love.

Once Angel was buried, we slowly walked up the hill towards the exit of the cemetery.

_MIMI  
It's true you sold your guitar and bought a car?_

Why did she have to say something to him?

_ROGER  
It's true - I'm leaving now for Santa Fe  
It's true you're with this yuppie scum?  
_  
_BENNY  
You said you'd never speak to him again  
_  
_MIMI  
Not now  
_  
_MAUREEN  
Who said that you have any say in who she says things to at all?_

She just had to open her big mouth.

_ROGER  
Yeah!  
_  
_JOANNE  
Who said that you should stick your nose in other people's..._

_MAUREEN  
Who said I was talking to you?  
_  
_JOANNE  
We used to have this fight each night  
She'd never admit I existed _

Those two have serious problems

_Mark_

_Calm down  
Everyone please  
_  
_MIMI  
He was the same way - he was always  
"run away - hit the road don't commit" you're full of shit!_

_BENNY  
Mimi_

She was only making things worse.

_JOANNE  
She's in denial  
_  
_MIMI  
He's in denial  
_  
_JOANNE  
Didn't give an inch when I gave a mile  
_  
_MARK  
Guys, come on  
_  
_MIMI  
I gave a mile  
_  
_ROGER  
Gave a mile to who?  
_  
_MARK & BENNY  
Come on guys chill!_

Mark and I were getting frustrated. How could they act like that on the day of their best friends funeral?

_MIMI & JOANNE  
I'd be happy to die for a taste of what Angel had,  
someone to live for - unafraid to say I love you  
_  
_ROGER  
All your words are nice Mimi but love's not a three-way street  
you'll never share real love until you love yourself - I  
should know.  
_  
_COLLINS  
You all said you'd be cool today so please for my sake...  
I can't believe he's gone  
I can't believe you're going  
I can't believe this family must die  
Angel helped us believe in love  
I can't believe you disagree _

ALL  
I can't believe this is good-bye

Roger walked off like he always did and left Mimi crying. After Maureen and Joanne left, the minister asked for the bill. I decided to pay, because I knew they didn't have any money and I wasn't about to let a good person like Angel be buried in a cardboard box and thrown somewhere.

"To make things fair, I think I should tell you that you just paid for the funeral of the person who killed your dog." Collins said laughing.

"I know."

"You knew?"

"Yeah, I always hated that dog." I said truthfully.

A/N: That's it! Tell me what you think. No flamers.


End file.
